Parent Week // Pause

So as I posted Monday that in honor of our new arrival at the Millard (for more on that go   HERE ) home I am doing a blog series called...

So as I posted Monday that in honor of our new arrival at the Millard (for more on that go HERE) home I am doing a blog series called Parent week. I am dedicating this entire week to a few things that I have learned in my time as a parent.

Ok so I have to admit, I am a horrible over-reacter when it comes to my kids. I am in general an emotional person. So at times when my kids do something wrong I can tend to get way to angry or upset very quickly.

Something I had to learn, and I am still learning, is that my original reaction is not generally the best one. My feeling is usually very right. The reason I am angry or upset is usually valid. But the way in which I deal with it is not. So I have to take a pause before I react to any given situation with my children. Me understanding this principle literally changed my relationship with all my children, but especially the 2 oldest. It makes situations much calmer which keeps them from feeling anxious.

Here are 4 reasons to take a pause.

It encourages actual change -  I shutter at the thought that my children would begin to manage behavior because of my reactions to them in serious situations or the not so serious ones. Giving my children an opportunity to talk to me and dialogue about what happened gives me the opportunity to really HELP them see what they did wrong. This leads to life change because they understand! At their core they want to be better.

It encourages the truth – I have learned in my own life and in watching my kids, that if you are consistently overreacting to issues they tend to want to avoid it. So it can breed lying and hiding things. As a parent the better you react the safer and more comfortable they will be to share mistakes and bad news. The last thing any of us want is the our kids to feel like they cannot talk to us.

It encourages dialogue – Monologue in parenting can be a dangerous thing. When you take a minute and process through what your next move should be it helps you TALK them through it rather than lecture them! Don’t get me wrong sometimes a good lecture is needed, but overall a conversation and dialogue helps them understand.

It encourages love – the most important thing every kid needs to know is that they have parents that love them. No matter what they do no matter what they say they are our children and we love them. Taking a minute always reminds me to reaffirm my children of how much I love them and how much they mean to me. 

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