Celebrating the Core Part 1

A couple of weeks ago my wife’s Grandmother fell down and hurt herself. Nothing to crucial but she did have a few scrat...

A couple of weeks ago my wife’s Grandmother fell down and hurt herself. Nothing to crucial but she did have a few scratches on her face. Now for Jen and I that was no big deal. But for kids that can sometimes seem a lot worse than it really is! So Grandma was going to come up and see the kids the next day and we wanted to be sure to talk to the kids about it and let them know that Grandma was ok and that there was nothing to worry about. And unfortunately I have the kids that need to be reminded not to bring it up and ask about it. They would run up to her screaming “WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE!!”

Now with Makayla, my oldest, asking her not to worry or get worked up about it is like asking water to not be wet. It just isn’t going to happen. And for some reason we momentarily forgot that basic truth about her personality. So here came the questions?

Is she ok?
Is she hurt?
How bad does it look?
Did she cry?
How big are the scratches?
Can she drive?
Should I call her?
When did it happen?
Will I get in trouble if I ask her about it?

I could go on and on. Those questions were just the first 30 seconds! Now don’t get me wrong I knew there would be questions. I wasn’t worried about that. But for some reason I assumed that I would have a few questions and then we would move on. That was a cute thought!

So about 20 minutes later at the dinner table Jennifer and I are trying to have a conversation about something that went on during our day! And Makayla just kept pounding me with the questions and interrupting over and over again. As most dads would I was starting to get annoyed. And something I have been learning over the past few weeks with my mentor came through and took over in that moment!

At the peak of my frustration I looked at my daughter ready to tell her enough. “Stop stressing out and stressing me out. Relax! Grandma is fine!!” But I didn’t! I tried a different approach. I looked at my daughter and brought her in and hugged her. I told her and that I love her heart for people and the people she loves. And I was so glad that God gave her a heart to be sensitive to people that were hurting. I took a minute and celebrated who she was rather than get angry at what she was doing. I honestly didn’t know where it came from.

As long as I live I will never ever forget the look on my daughters face. She lit up like a Christmas tree! She felt that little part of her being celebrated. And even though sometimes when that comes out and she worries it drives me crazy. I was able to celebrate who my daughter was and give her freedom in that moment to keep being that person!

The implications of that are never ending. That basic fact can be integrated into every part of my life. The way I interact with my wife, the way I parent, the way I lead. Learning not to celebrate people just for what they do but to celebrate why they do it. See I’m not sure if for leaders it is enough to just tell someone thanks for being a great group leader. I think if we truly want to unleash the potential of the people around us then we need to celebrate why they are a great group leader.
Something like this

“Thanks for being such a great volunteer and hanging out with kids every week. We don’t know what we would do without you. “


“Thanks for you heart for students and your willingness to get dirty and love on students. It is great to see someone who has a passion to see young people connect with God! You fill a huge gap here with the things you do. But the thing that makes you special is your heart to see students be loved and accepted!”

Do you see the difference! One celebrates their presence! The other celebrates their heart and passion. One leads to great attendance. The other leads people to uncover the heart that God gave them! It helps them be fulfilled and lets them know God is using them and unlocking their passions so He can use them.

Stay Tuned tomorrow for 5 Benefits to celebrating peoples Core! 

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